I write today on a sad sad note. With the beginning of the fiscal year Project Concern has found that they are down to 75% funding. What this means is that 5 ppl got cut today at work. One of them was my boss. I feel so bad. very. I know that I should be grateful for having a job, but all i feel is crapy and guilty. He's so qualified, it totally should have been me that got chopped. Now I guess I should just wait to see what God has in store for me at this job. But who knows? Maybe tomorrow it will be me... *sigh*

This job insecurity really got me thinking about how so many things in life are also very uncertain. In the end only He is the real rock in the storm, but it can be so tempting to put our trust and faith and eggs in other baskets, like in people you really care about and count on, or in stuff. I can look toward my family and think that they are a safe haven, but not even my parents can guarentee my security or a job or a livelihood or safety.  I look around my room and feel a sense of security, "well at least I'll always have these shoes, or this hair dryer or these paper clips". But in the end it's only stuff and that stuff can be gone at a drop of a hat... and most of it doesn't even matter anyway, so why depend on it? I can even look toward my nation and pride myself in the thought that things will be as they have always been... happy potatoe salad BBQs, smiley sitcoms, and plastic Golden Arches reigning in the land of the free. But who knows? Perhaps this way of life is also just as volitile and the stock market could come crashing though our expectations (figuratively or literally). So what now? We're living in a life that seems to be spinning out of control and we're getting nauea because nothing seems to stay or stick. Lord help me to focus on Him as a constant in this world where things are constantly in flux.